I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel (boom boom) Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!!!
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the . Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. (Ok, this is bad.) An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)....A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before!!!!
21 comments:
I shouldnt laugh there were terrible:)
Whats a cannibals favourite game?...
Swallow the leader:)
"A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. "
Bravo
there should be they
okay okay we are on a roll...
In Afghanistan when the Taliban were in charge it was noted that womn walked 5 feet behind their husbands,,,after wards when the Yanks were in charge it was noted that the women were now walknig about 10-12 feet behind their husbands...
when asked why they would walk so far behind they said..."Land Mines!"
A super-callousd fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
That was good Cazzie!
Have a nice weekend!
those are bad, but I am still laughing. I'll tell 'em to my kids when they get home from school...they always love corny jokes. And if you need a good laugh and can't think of any good jokes, you could always do the Yum Yum Ham mantra meditation? ;)
A little kids come in to school late. Teacher says "You're late"
Kid says "Yeah my fathder got burned!"
Teachers says "Not badly I hope!"
Little Kid says "They DO NOT fuck about at the crematorium."
An original one from my son, back when he was aged five:
Q: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
A: "Because it was stuck in the dogs' mouth."
From there the joke expanded over the years, to the point of:
Q: "Why did the dinosaur fall off the roof?"
A: "Because it was stuck in the dogs' mouth."
Got to love it when one punch line works for any joke.
(groan)
Robbie Williams has been executed.
As you have ordered.
Yes, they are so terrible Aidan, that you gotta laugh :)
MC, thanks for the laugh, that wasa goodie.
Hey Margie, hope you are feeling better, and of course, it is not the side effects of my jokes, lol.
M....lol, I love that mantra, I shall use it often today as I am going to work, will I look funny laughing during a serious patient handover?? LOL.
Whitesnake, that is a goodie mate :)
Rebecca, I will try it one time, using the punch line with any given topic. Could change it to dingo's mouth instead of dog, yeah, that'd work hey?
Beefcake Almighty, sorry to make ya groan, but as ya know, I got kids, the dirty jokes shall ensue when they reach High School I dare say. Gr8 execution of Robbie mate. My hubby met him when setting up stage for his Melbourne concert. Hubby said, "Gee you're a short C*nt!" Robbie's reply, "Get F*cked mate"...laughter followed.
Hilarious...took me a second to figure out they were jokes. lol
Basil Brush boom boom!
I just found your site and will add it to my favorites. I am a fellow nurse, but retired now and running a book store in the midwest, USA. I like your sense of humor. Come by and visit me. I must be all the way around the world from you.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
Groannnnnnnn. These were so bad, so why am I laughing?
Those were so bad they were hilarious. haha
Haha... Those were cute... My friend loves jokes like this... I'll have to tell her them, but I'm not so good with telling jokes so I guess that idea is out the window. :)
FC&F, glad I made you laugh, hope you keep smiling!!!
Huggies, my kids love Basil Brush, he is sooo snobbishly funny.
QOD, like my no punn intended jokes hey, lol.
DC, will be sure to visit you then, love my books for sure :)
Betty, because bad is good, LOL.
Jay, well, I hope you belly laughed at em mate, good to let it all out ya know.
Erica, yeah, I know, I am terrible at retaining them also, I have to write them down ya know.
Cazzie: Those are pretty bad...almost as bad as:
"Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his grandmother in the woods?"
Oh Ginnie, that's excellent, from my nursey brain that is, lol.
"Take my Blog...please!"
BADA BOOM BADA BING!
"I'll be here all week folks tell a friend!"
I heard a rim shot every time!
Thanks for the laughs.
Thats so bad its great!!!
LOL I love it too funny!!
Did you hear about the nurse who was off her game so to speak. 3 drs. were sitting around talking about her and the first one says yeh, I told her to give my patient 1 inj every 4 hours and she has been giving the guy 4 injs every hour! the second one says yeh, I told her to give my patient 4 liters of fluid in 8 eight hours but she has been giving him 8 liters in 4 hours! Just then a patient goes running by with his butt waving out from behind his johnny gown and a nurse running to catch him carrying a bed basin full of hot water. the 3rd doc says see there she goes I just told her to prick that man's boil!
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