Monday, June 30, 2008

People getting pissed...


Ok let me first explain to people not in Australia, that the word "pissed" here Down Under means drunk, not angry..although, I have been known to say it and mean that I am angry..so I guess you can use the word any way you like.
So, this penguin is a pretty lame attempt at humour, he is being used as a prop, as an example of what NOT to do on any given day, especially on a day I am working. If you want to be on my good side, that is, on nurse Cazzie's good side, you will not become so intoxicated that you end up like little penguin here. Although, I have to say, he is rather tame compared to humans.
You see, when you are so drunk that you pass out and your friends all leave you on the side walk and it is Winter time you will sure be left there until either a) the police see you lying there b) some really good citizen calls the ambulance or c)you piss yourself and vomit everywhere and just die ..right there...coz your friends left you there.
When you do come to hospital, your clothes will surely be cut off of you. Why? It is because you cannot move by yourself, and so the easiest way to get you out of your clothes is to cut them off. Too bad if it is your favourite dress or suit... bye bye clothes forever.
You will then get an intravenous line placed inside one of your arms, or maybe your foot if your veins are shit. Then IV fluids will be pumped into your body. A medicine will also be put through the drip for you to stop vomiting all over the place, all over my shoes and uniform....thankyou!
When you regain consciousness you will probably get aggressive... just beware, you are dicing with the person who just sobered you up and that is not a good thing. Being tossed out on the street in a hospital gown, remember, those clothes of yours have been spewed on and placed inside a plastic bag now. Your bum will be on display for all to see and well, I guess if you did wear your best undies for going out, just like Grandma used to say "Always wear your best undies every day because you never know when you will end up in hospital", then you will be fine, unless you pissed them! (pissed in this case means urinated)
Oh, and one more thing, don't try to chat up the nurses in your inhebriated state, it doesn't wash with us, it is a big turn off!
This has been a people getting pissed public service announcement......

13 comments:

Jay said...

I haven't ever been pissed enough to end up on the sidewalk passed out. Close, but not quite. ;-)

captain corky said...

I don't think my wife would leave me passed out on the street, but I know there are times when she wished she had. I try to behave a little better now that I'm older and more mature. ;)

Cazzie!!! said...

Jay, you are a good man!

Captain, I have heard women say to their man on the phone, "If you aren't dead by the time I get to the hospital you are gunna be when I do get there!" Of course, they are more subdued when they do get there, and everything goes ok.

Flat Coke and Flies said...

Just another day, another dollar. lol

karisma said...

LOL! I can honestly say I have never been quite that pissed. And yes it would piss me off to have to put up with it too. (Mind you having said that, not so long ago I scraped up a young fellow who was pretty close to that position and nursed him myself. His friends were all for kicking him and leaving him out in the cold. Me being a mama felt sorry for him he was only about 20) I do believe the young man in question learned a valuable lesson that night!


A great post Cazzie! It would be great for all teenagers to read it!

Team Gherkin said...

[no comment] hahahahahaaa! In my younger day MANY years ago, i cringe to think of some of the alcohol-fueled excesses we got upto! Eep!

Cyalayta
Mal :)

Drywall Mom said...

I see it as a way of karma when someone gets that wasted. If someone wants to embarass themselves that much, when they come around, they should be embarrased for making the medical field have to take their time to work on someone that intentionally did this to someone, instead of working on someone who is sick and didn't do it to themselves. I see it as a waste of the tax payers money.

LanternLight said...

What about drunk nurses, from experience, they can be a handful.

:-)

Cazzie!!! said...

FC&F haha, pay me a dollar for evertime I have said that at work and I could quite possibly, or even un deniably, RETIRE!!


Karisma, yes, that is the case with these poor guys. I think the problem is that there are promotions at bars with those shot drinks..and well, you just don;t feel a thing..until 10 shots later and an hour later and the blood alcohol reading goes sky high with time.

Mal, oh well, we live and learn :)

Mom, you speak what I think about sometimes here. Something I cannot say at work but I do think about.

Lantern, yup, drink they can, but I havent looked after one yet as a patient, I think, maybe, we just know when to stop JUST! LOL

Stace said...

Every time I've been that drunk, I've been safely at home or at a friend's place. No burden to anybody, just quietly puked and passed out on my own turf!

G-Man said...

I learned what 'pissed' was from the lovely KB...A Kiwi...xo

Andrew said...

Hi Cazzie. Interesting post. I am surprised that they would be aggressive when the nurse is clearly the one in a position of power.

Middle Child said...

And another term we use is "Pissed as a Parrott" - not these days -

Our eldest ended up being taken to hospital for a stomach pump when Don was in hospital in 1994 and I was with him. She was 20...and her and friend decided to demolish a whole wine cask (mine which lasted me ages) BEFORE they went out - she hit the cement unconscious and received appropriately stern treatment in the local hospital- Thank god I didn't know until after Don was out of hospital... she'd never drunk wine like that before -

well Caz dearie you wanted to be a nurse and someone has to do the dirty work - may as well be you - (joke truely seriously)