Tax Time!!!

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions.
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What's your occupation?"
"I'm a Lady of the night," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."
The accountant says, "Chicken Farmer it is!"

BOOM! BOOM!

KITCHEN SIGNS..a must have for Mother's Day....

1. Dinner will be ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
2. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
3. If, we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
4. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
5. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
6. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
7. Help keep the kitchen clean --->>> eat out.
8. Housework done properly can kill you.
9. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
10. My next house will have no kitchen ----just vending machines.