Monday, September 03, 2007

Hindsight is great..after the fact...

You see, it is by nature I am a giving person. Oh, I know, I am not tooting my own horn, merely stating a fact. When a friend is in need I will always help them. This is not a good thing, I know this now. I forgot about my family, I forgot about mySELF. So, in the process, making this person number one over mySELF and over my family. Then, we realise that this person misleads others and manipulates them. The need to be in the centre of attention at all times is just so draining on those around them. Anyway, that is their forte'. I am not mad, I feel sorry for them....they do not know this, you know, to get help, how can a narcissistic personality know this?
I will always help a friend, but I will never ever put them before mySELF and before my family again. That is an assured thing.
Friends look out for each other, they do not use others to get to where they want to be. I do not hate people, bit I can be permitted to dislike the things they say or do.
The saying that "naturally decent people can sometimes attract people who are not decent" does come to mind. What is this magnetism nice people like us have?
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ... I must remember this.
Anyway...have a friendship turd on me, I hope it makes you all laugh.. it is cute don't you think?


Keshi said...


**Friends look out for each other, they do not use others to get to where they want to be

I agree. Whoever who used ur heart to do that, is going to find Karma coming back in doubles.

btw check my blog and see if u hv ever been to that place...


eric1313 said...


Love thyself and familly first!

then love your friends. Don't let whoever it was harm your love for people, but yes, you must do what you said in this post.

It's your personality that makes people want to know what you have to say. Thank you for being you, Cazzie. That's what I like, ever since you were so kind to my prof, Michelle that one day a long time ago when she was getting harrassed on her blog, and you chimed in about the angels of your familly. I wasn't even a blogger at the time, just an observer. But you kindness stands out. Be well!

mjd said...

What a great post and a good reminder. Sometimes these misleading and manipulative folks can be very seductive with their wants and needs. Of course, "Friends look out for each other, they do not use others to get to where they want to be." Thanks, for the friendship turd. I hope that your day is good and spent with family and friends not users.

Andrew said...

I am a strong believer in 'the self' must be right before anything else. If 'the self' is right and things go wrong, it is a fault with the other selves. This flows down to not doing things you don't want to just to please people. You are are doing the wrong thing by yourself.

Anonymous said...

He's very cute!!!!

In my world can we switch the word friend's in that post to Mother??


Cazzie!!! said...

Keshi ty for the huggs

Eric, I am so happy you came over again. Your poetry is always food for thought..and I like that.

MJD, thankyou for the kind words. I appreciate it very much. I learn from what other people say here..and it is nice to see how things are reflected on a global level.

Andrew... I can follow what you say very closely and I totaly unerstand what your point is. I like that..because it takes other people to make sense and bring things into awareness for me. I am a good listener and a good reader too.

Farmwife two... haha, thanks for the laugh... haha.

Anonymous said...

I have the same problem of putting my friend in need first, then my family suffers, well Bat, anyway. I find myself telling this friend secrets to try to make them feel better then the friend turning their back on me. I'm learning to just listen then walk away, it's not like my friends listen to my advice.

The turd was funny.

Mom said...

Jesus said to love thy neighbor as thyself. We often forget that before we can love others we must first love ourself. I think that means we do need to tend to our own needs first. Then we can be there to help our friends.

Aidan said...

Main thing dont stop trying to help people, get a bit wiser from the situation, be aware of the warning signs, and back off when they get too clingy...

You should blow your own trumpet you are an uncommonly nice and genuine person!

Cazzie!!! said...

FC&F, I love what you say here, and I can so understand it too.

Mom, thanks for the kind words.. I am soaking them all up :)

Aidan, I am especially taking on board what you say here..and you hit the nail right on the head. You and Stace are so awesome!

Middle Child said...

OHHH Thankee Cazzie... a turd by any other name would smell as sweet...tee hee

homo escapeons said...

"Feel whoever you want,
and say what you feel,
because those who mind,
don't matter,
and those who matter,
don't mind."

That is so true. I will now officially replace my old personal slogan which was from the Woody Allen movie, Zelig..

is a cruel meaningless existance,
all I can tell you is Save String."

and one from Groucho Marx,
"You're only as old as the woman you feel"

and one from Oscar Wilde
"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious."

LanternLight said...


Eternally Curious said...

Cazzie: Good people such as yourself are "other people" oriented, rather than self oriented. And altho I agree that all the great spiritual teachers have taught to love others as we would ourselves, or even to put others before ourselves - I have always personally added this addendum: EXCEPT those that refuse to help themselves! Why? Well the way I figure it, the Devil has already claimed 'em and I need to get the heck outta the way! (O_O)