Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Jokes for a Crabby Laydee....

The Entree' today is a comic or four...........................................







My friend Miss Crabby is having a hard time right now so in her honour I thought I would post a joke, she is in need of some HRT ( Humour Replacement Therapy) !!!
Every Sunday Father Donovan, a preacher at a small church in the little town of Truganina, Victoria, tried to make the Bible accessible to his congregation through his sermons. On this particular Sunday, Father Donovan proclaimed, "If you ever feel adrift in the sea of life, just turn to the Bible for guidance. All life's experiences are immortalized in the good book, and it will help you find your way to shore."
After church Mrs. Francis approached the preacher and said, "Father Donovan, I don't think every life experience is in the Bible. Nowhere in the Bible have I ever read about PMS." Father Donovan had never heard such a comment, so that night he sifted through the Bible to see if Mrs. Francis was right.
Next Sunday Father Donovan pulled Mrs. Francis aside after church and said, "I wasn't wrong last Sunday when I said that every life experience is mentioned in the Bible." "Okay, Father. Where does it say anything about PMS?" Father Donovan opened up his Bible and showed her a passage that read: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."
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If that wasn't any good, who can do better? Let's get Ms Crabby laughing out loud :)
Seiously though, we can all use a laugh in this crazy World right?


23 comments:

Flat Coke and Flies said...

Good stuff!! 2 funny.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I loved the pictures and the jokes. Here is another joke:
Two men are contracted to paint a small community church out in the bush. Being petty criminals they decided to spend the absolute minimum on materials so they would have more money for themselves.
However when they where half way through the job they realised that they didn't have enough paint. So they decided to dilute the paint with water so it would last longer.
Finally they finished the painting when all of a sudden the sky darkened and the rain started to pour down. As the paint streamed down the sides of the church a voice boomed from the heavens:
"Repaint, you thinners! Repaint, and thin no more!"
Cheers,
Andrew

Stace said...

Brilliant!!! I love a laugh in the morning. Several laughs is even better!! Did you happen to catch Jewel's post full of one-liners the other day? I've got a link to her blog on my blog, check it out if you have a moment.

The Samstress said...

Thanks for the chuckles! I'm grinning ear to ear! Cheers! ~Sam

Jay said...

These two muffins were in sitting in the muffin pan in the oven. On of them turns to the other and says..

"Is it hot in here or is just me?"

The other one says..

"HOLY CRAP ... A TALKING MUFFIN!!"

The Stormin Mormon said...

Hahahahaha

Ass-holes

gawilli said...

You are right, Cazzie! We definitely need to keep our sense of humor. Very funny jokes and cartoons!

Keshi said...

ROFL!

Good ones Caz :):) Love the HOE one.

We sure can laugh alot of things off but most ppl choose to be too serious. Its sad. Anyways I love to laugh my ass off LOL!

Keshi.

Footpad said...

Oh, thank you! I needed a LOL!

And thanks for stopping by a few days back. I appreciated your comment.

Cheers!

-- f

Trée said...

Thanks Cazzie, I needed the laugh. :-)

surfercam said...

Funny pics Caz!

G-Man said...

Great way to start the day Cazzie....Thanks!

Crabby said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA! Caz, THANK YOU! Those were great! I love you!

I feel much better now. Although, I have landed myself in spot of hot water. LOL! Not to fret. I'm working on it.

jillie said...

Laughter IS the best medicine. Love the new avatar ;o))

poody said...

LMAOROF laughing my ass off rolling on the floor!

paddy said...

cazzie you're a spacer- a march hare, but I like it. Y:-) Paddy

Aidan said...

love the comics... Joke left a bit to be desired but thanks for the smile on a boring wednesday morning:)

Winters said...

A fine joke, Cazzie! I'll be telling it tomorrow.

And yes, I agree, we can all use a laugh. Thanks for this one.

:)

Rosanna said...

I love it :D haha. Pricks. Tehe

rosemary said...

Love all four of them...and the preacher is pretty smart as well!!!

Love your writing/posts.

Cazzie!!! said...

FC&F, glad you laughed :)

Andrew, great joke, never heard that one before, but then again, I am hopeless at remembering them, even one liners!

Stace, thanks for the tip on visiting Jewel, I will be sure to return again. Glad you laughed, and I am glad things look good for your future :)

Sam, glad to see you, hope you are well.

Jay, lol, why not a talking muffin, I am sure they would have their own personalities too.

Stormin mormon, lol, I know, that made me pmsl too.

Gawilli, yes, we sometimes need reminding to laugh a bit, sad but true. Release those happy hormones :)

Keshi, I agree, I laugh at myself and my own thoughts alot!!

Footpad, glad I made you laugh, will visit you again soon :)

Tree, good to see you there, love your work on your site, amazing art :)

Surfercam and Galen, I love you both :)

Crabby, life is never dull in your neck of the woods...making a car salesman pretend to be a dog..next you will sell sand to the Arabs!!! LMAO

Jillie, it certainly is and I heart your avatar too.

Poody, good, now keep on laughing all the way through your office at work and show the other girls what laughter does :)

Paddy, why thankyou mate... all no punn intended :) Or perhaps it was intended??

Aidan, oh I know, but Wednesdays are always needing a pepp up I reckon. Most hated day of work for me was a Wednesday when I was full time.

Winters, I was trying to be careful what joke I used here. My blog is kinda G rated, family fun that kind of thing. But, for my friend Crabby, who speaks her mind, I thought the joke apt for the occasion, and, well, if we all had a little laugh along the way then it is all good :)
Glad you will be telling it, have you a good memory? I would have to wrtie it down to remember it, or, I loose the punchline!!

Rosanna, rotfl at pricks, I know, hehe.

Rosemary, thanks so much, I enjoy your posts too, love where you live, just gorgeous.

peppypilotgirl said...

ROTFL!! I needed a good laugh too - thanks for sharing it!

Homo Escapeons said...

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed...

The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says,

"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

bada boom bada bing!