Thursday, January 18, 2007

Shower Anyone???

How To Shower Like A Woman:

Take off clothes and place then in sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How to Shower Like A Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.



surfercam said...

It's funny coz it's true!

Steph said...

Baaaaaaahahahaha! That is comedy GOLD.

samuru999 said...

I am laughing!!!!
Loved it!
Thanks for the lovely visit!
You are sweet!


samuru999 said...

Oh, hope your eye is getting better!
Take good care!


Jay said...

That is hilarious!

pink ginger 珂琳 said...

This is refreshing, sensual and funny. :)
Thanks for visiting my blog.
I'll be back.

Big Mama said...

OMG! That sounds familiar! LOL!!! Hope your eye is doing well...

gawilli said...

What a beautiful picture, and yes that is so true!

Keshi said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! tnxx for making me augh today Caz :):)

LOL @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas..


mjd said...

Well, mostly true and very funny... How is your eye?

Lucy said...

I think your culture is Shower.
But our culture is Bathtab. When it is winter, we need bathtabs.
I have a chanse, I try to post about Japanse bath.

Middle Child said...

Sooooooooooo true...I passed this on to my sisters and two adult daughters......thanks for the laugh...and my husband laughed too whatta guy!

SzélsőFa said...

This is hilarious.