Monday, February 28, 2011

Tonight is my 3rd night of four in Emergency. It is so busy we have barely stood still all night. We start at 9pm and finish at 7:30am. The 10hrs goes by so fast. So much to do, so many people needing us all at once. The Doctors are fab to work with, they too are under so much pressure.
Being here is good for me right now, it might sound selfish but I am glad I am keeping busy. If I were to be at home I would not sleep at night. I would worry about my Pop and I would look like hell during the day and be so tired because of the lack of sleep. I called Pa when I woke up today at about 5pm. He sounded so weary. He said that the pain is always there now and try as he must he just could not eat anything more than one scone all day long. He has plenty of food there, brought to him by my gorgeous Aunt and Uncle and cousins and all his social network of friends thanks to the Grandpoo bah lodge (aka Freemasons Lodge), croquet, line dancing, thai chi, and whatever else he was involved in. Surprising that he has not got the "sheila's" footy team around visiting him at home there, he supported them for the past 4 years going to their practice matches and weekend games too.
My Aunt will come over from "The Mount" (aka Mt Gambier) today to stay a few nights.
I know it won't be long, because my Pa is honest and as he spoke to me he said he just cannot do it any more. Not being able to sit there, not being able to go for a walk or go about on his scooter any more and not to be able to have a cup of coffee or eat a good meal anymore is ... I can't say it.
Shit, I hate you cancer. Thought I would just let you know that. M'kay.
Time to go back to work. I cannot wait to get home to kiss and hugg my babies before they go to school.


FoxyMoron said...

Cazzie I am so, so sorry that your Pop is going through this and that you are too.

Ginnie said...

It breaks my heart to know what you all are going through. I am at the age where so many of my friends are dying and it is so difficult, no matter what the disease.
I'm sure that your Dad is comforted by knowing how much you love him and I hope his suffering won't last much longer. I wish I were close enough to give you a hug at the very least.