""What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.Friedrich Nietzsche "", before you say, but how do you know Friedrich Nietzsche? I have to say I don't, but I know Dr Evil, and he quoted it to me in a comments section on his there blog.
I so agree with what he says, of course you could go both ways when you have had a death defying life situation happen to you. You could say, "Ha, I beat this sucker so I am going to give life my all"..or you could say, "Oh, I am so doomed, I will never truly recover from this, the Devil is out to get me".
I chose the first phrase there last year. I chose it after being in hospital for many weeks after a Bug decided to try and cut me down before I was ready to leave this planet. I had a routine Hysterectomy and two days later, after going seemingly great guns (I got rid of my IV drip, the PCA Morphine, was up and out of bed walking), I began to feel realy unwell, odd and like something just didn't seem right. My heart was jumping through my chest, I had pain to the left side of my abdomen, like a bruising that was getting worse. Then a small weird dimple came evident on my abdomen. Nothing to write home about but my huband noticed it when Is aid I was sore. My B/P dropped to 60/nothing and I required help to get back to bed from the chair I was on. I was put on oxygen and the surgeon was called in.
By the way, I failed to mention that I started to feel crap by mid afternoon and the nurset hat was looking after me decided that because he couldn't get a B/P on me and that HE was satisfied I looked ok to him, he would document "Unable to obtain B/P at this time" on my obs chart. What? I said, what? tou cannot do that, go get someone else to try, I believe the machine is correct, and as you aren't using an automated sphygmomanometre and relying on your own skills I advise you that you are getting the correct reading....I am not feeling well at all. I can hardly breathe here and I am realy sore. He walked off...I am in tears here as I type this (No need for sympathy, I am just saying how it is), it has been THE hardest thing for me to deal with in this whole saga, the fact that he couldn't have gone to get someone else to listen, and call the doctors.
So there I was left until the night staff came on, yes the ngiht staff! I couldn't ambulate to the bed or anywhere, I couldn't get to my call bell, he did not leave it available to me. When the night staff got on they cam to me first and they then got into action. I SHOULD have been ok, I should have been 2 days away from discharge. I tried to do so well, I got up day 1 after the op and all and I drank so much water so not to need the IV.
An IV was immediately put back in, my surgeon came in(his first call out in 2 years since having given up delivering babies), he got onto the cardiologist, my heart was failing, it was in Atrial Fibrillation, at 155 beats per minute (and didn't I know it!). My oxygen sats were bottoming out so they kept the oxygen on 10l/min via a mask.
I was sent to CT scan the abdomen, they found a gas collection in my abdominal wall muscle, like a gangerenous collection. First they wanted to exclude a fistula, commonly created through such surgery as I had had. Also to exclude any sort of bowel perforation too. I couldn't move on my own so they pat slided me over to the CT table.
I was then moved to a bed where I could have a heart monitor afixed to me. After this the week is a blur as my body fought this bug I had. I was taken into the care of the VIDS doctors, the cardiologist, a physician, teh head surgeon of the hospital and my own surgeon. I had many, many blood cultures sent as I was febrile most of the time. I had countless IV access points resited, what an arse that is I can tell you.
The abdomen finaly became so sore that I needed analgesia. I had a repeat CT abdo and they used a syringe and needle to aspirate what was collecting, it was sent away. It began to break through my skin to the left side of my abdomen, never to the right.
First it was a rash, then it blistered and bruised upand then it oozed. When the VIDS guys came to see me I said, "Well, I never though I would see the day that I would be needing a bloody yellow bin!" (Here we have yellow bins to discard any infectous materials)They laughed, but I did not. I was pissed that it happened to me, I prepared for the operation months in advance, walking every day to be fit as to exclude the thought coming to fruition that I may have complications post op and that I wanted to get home after the required 5 day stay.
So, I was there in all this time about 5 weeks, and it was not pretty. The diagnosis was Necrotizing Fasciitis. As you would note, most people who do not get treated or diagnosed correctly infact don't survive it. It is realy scary to say the least.
I will tie this off now and just say that the quote Dr Evil brought to my attention sure goes without saying to me. You sure see who is important, who your friends are and what is important in life. I take each day as it comes, I try to see love lightness in the things I do and if I am not seeing either of these things then I change my approach. Some days are harder than others but with time and some patience I get through.
People say to me,"How is it you seem so happy all the time..what's the secret?" I say it is what I make of it, your day is as good as you make it. I know why I am the way I am, and I know I don't want to be anywhere else right now...except somewhere WARM...gotta love Melbourne in Winter!!